"Four stars to Four Star!"

I have about a million things I want to talk about, but hardly any time at all. I will start with this.

minigendo asked what exactly this oft-spoken of and much lauded job of mine is, and I realize that there are quite a few people who might be wondering the same thing. So let me tell you what I do when I'm not whining my head off about grad school.

I work at Four Star Video Heaven, which is an independent video store.

But not just any video store.

I work at THE video store. I work at the video store to end all video stores. I work at the video store that clerks at other video stores wish they worked at. I work at the Alpha and Omega of video stores.

Do you think you've been to a good video store? You haven't. Not if you haven't been to Four Star.

Do you like to read Dan Savage's "Savage Love?" Dan Savage started writing that while working at Four Star.

This one time, a really drunk guy came in and wanted to watch a movie about gorillas. We sent him to the documentary section, which is full of softcore, because that's the way things are. He proceeded to shout across the store that he wanted "NO PORN, JUST GORILLAS." That event took place at Four Star.

I know, I really shouldn't rub it in that I have the world's most amazing job? But you're allowed to do things like that when you work at Four Star. (****)