The Five Obstructions
Jun. 12th, 2006 01:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maypirate1. Even now, at night, in shame. I wish the missing would stop, but it's a part of me forever, holes torn and patched up with skull bunnies and milk tea promises and yet. And yet. Even now.
2. Trust is a river, and time is an ocean, and I wish I could stop wondering where you are and what you're thinking. I look for you. Do you think about me? Do you wonder? Do you watch?
3. I am afraid but lazy, in pain and complaining but complacent and too silent, too afraid that what might solve the problem is beyond my current capacity, and yet paralyzed that this might last forever. The worst is knowing that on days when it isn't there, I wait for it to come back.
4. As if I were no wiser.
5. I am afraid to lose you. I am afraid that it came so suddenly and quickly, that I didn't see it, that I was looking the other way at something else that could never really rival you, and suddenly there it was. I am afraid to go alone, and afraid to resist it any longer because it's too real and too there, and I want it so badly. If only I could do two things at once.
...I don’t know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I don’t know how or when,
no, they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence but from a street
I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone, there I was
without a face
and it touched me. -Pablo Neruda
Edit: I wish you'd told me, so I could have let go of some of this guilt.
2. Trust is a river, and time is an ocean, and I wish I could stop wondering where you are and what you're thinking. I look for you. Do you think about me? Do you wonder? Do you watch?
3. I am afraid but lazy, in pain and complaining but complacent and too silent, too afraid that what might solve the problem is beyond my current capacity, and yet paralyzed that this might last forever. The worst is knowing that on days when it isn't there, I wait for it to come back.
4. As if I were no wiser.
5. I am afraid to lose you. I am afraid that it came so suddenly and quickly, that I didn't see it, that I was looking the other way at something else that could never really rival you, and suddenly there it was. I am afraid to go alone, and afraid to resist it any longer because it's too real and too there, and I want it so badly. If only I could do two things at once.
...I don’t know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I don’t know how or when,
no, they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence but from a street
I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone, there I was
without a face
and it touched me. -Pablo Neruda
Edit: I wish you'd told me, so I could have let go of some of this guilt.
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Date: 2006-06-12 01:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-12 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-12 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-12 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-12 11:03 pm (UTC)Sorry for posting this twice - I suck at things- and clogging up your LJ. Apparently just reading "Boondock Saits" makes me stupid.
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Date: 2006-06-12 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-12 11:54 pm (UTC)