Oops I did it again

[maypirate]

You know you love something too much when.

Watched BDS with decken and harukaceles last night. Amy liked it, Gretchen though it was meh, that's all fine.

But today when I walked into work and asked Jason what he thought -because I knew he was going to watch it this weekend- he said it "fucking sucked" and it went straight through my heart and back out the other side. Like hearing that honestly made my chest hurt and bummed me out.

And it's not like I think Jason has fabulous taste in movies, especially since we had that argument about "Far From Heaven," but still, it was such a disappointing thing to hear.

So it got me thinking, especially because of a conversation I had with herongale last week. I know both Don and I tend to appreciate things exponentially - if we love something, we want to share it, and our enjoyment is increased the more people we find who enjoy it too. But often, because you can recommend something to someone only to have them hate it, or overhype it to death, I find myself shying away from recommending things in general, because the reverse happens too. For me, if I'm really hoping someone will like something, and they don't, it's like lending them a favorite doll and getting it back with one of its arms missing. Something that was there is gone. It's not what it was before. That's why I will talk about how much I like something, but very rarely will I feel compelled to say "please watch/read/listen to this shit."

So I pose these questions to anyone who wants to answer.



-Is this a selfish way to behave? By keeping the things you love for yourself so they don't get tarnished or lessened, are you, well...being kind of a douche?

(My thoughts? Probably. I've not considered this before, but I'm going to be pondering it a lot from now on.)

-Does anyone else have these reactions? When you rec something, do you enjoy it more the more it spreads, and/or feel it lessened when someone doesn't like it?

-If you simply enjoy reccing things and can get away with no side effects, what is your secret? TELL ME. GIVE ME YOUR HAIR.

Four Star is open 17 hours a day. I am going to be working 13 of them. Please feel free to answer my questions, spam me with weird shit, come and bring me some cake. I love security tagging VHS. I LOVE IT.

And all this notwithstanding, brace yo'selves for two impending doom posts involving 1) my 5 sexiest movies and 2) my one true TV-land love.

...1.5 hours down.

Comments

[monkeybobert.livejournal.com]

I don't feel affected at all by other people's enjoyment or lack of enjoyment for something I love. I may want to hash it out with them a bit to find out why they hated this thing that is clearly beautiful/genius/perfect, but in the end they are free to their opinions. I like it when I can share something with someone and we have the love in common, but we don't have to and it can still be special for me. Sharing the love means you can talk about it and laugh about it - that's what I get out of recommending stuff.

Ummm I have no secrets. I figure people are different and everyone likes or dislikes different things for different reasons.

13 hours?! Holy fuck!! I'm supposed to be at Trinity for 12 hours today...gaslhfoiusdflkjwer! I'm trying to sneak of home for a bit, but they are strongly discouraging our going back to the apartments. Bastards. I need to get out!!

[maxxim-huzzah.livejournal.com]

I've been in your position--just this weekend I 'came out' as a fanfic writer to two friends (as opposed to a slashfan--god, everyone knows that about me XD).

1. I don't think it's being a douche to not tell people what you're into. It's self-protection. When I fall into a character, I don't talk about them all the time because I know I idealize that character, especially at the beginning. And why the hell would I want to get openly flamed for liking said character/pairing in RL? if they start talking about the OTP, then I'll start testing the waters...

2. If I can get someone to like what I like, more joy is had! Lots of LJ friends can get into my pairings. If they don't like it, then I feel kinda shut down, but still happy. It's when they start saying 'ewww, that's nucking futs' that I'm just like, whatever, now you just know where my Happy Place is =^_^=

3. Reccing stuff...it helps that among my friends, I'm the fangirliest fangirl among us. NO ONE wants to outshout me or my OTPs.

Which, when I think about it, is either incest (Ed/Al) or shota (Roy/Al, Al/Wrath, Riza/Al), or Alphonse Elric.

...This didn't help at all! o_o;;

[decken.livejournal.com]

1 & 2: You probably know I don't worry about it much either way.
3: I am just amazing like that. And I have nice hair.

13 hours? God. I will try to make an appearance.

[thisisnotmyname.livejournal.com]

hmmm. i think your reactions are better than mine.

i find that if i rec something (usually music) that i feel especially strong for, and someone doesnt like it... i tend to think less of them for it. like, my respect for them goes down because i think they have no taste.


shitty :/


i don't think it's particularly selfish to want to hold something dear to you. self preservation; you're keeping yourself from getting hurt. nothing wrong with that.

[sugar-in.livejournal.com]

When I recommend things I truly love, and the reaction is unpleasant, it does make me sad. I mean, I love this and it freakin rocks and everyone else needs to love it too because this would make the world a better place kumbayah forever but really. The sad is brief and usually replaced with an aggressive desire to get it right, and I deluge the poor boob with a veritable avalanche of you need to try this cuz it's totally awesome zomg.

When I still lived at my mom's and my sister asked for a book recc, I basically took her over to my bookshelf, pulled at least a half dozen down and told her why they were all awesome, and let her pick whatever she thought was interesting. It took a couple years to get the hang of her taste. I am responsible for about half of her recreational reading to date, and for the fact that she considers reading as possible recreation at all. Since my books moved away with me, she's now raiding my brother's shelves for the books I gave him for christmas. It's fantastic.

The book that spent about five years as my favorite (it hasn't been replaced, exactly, it's just got a lot of peers now all jostling for elbow room in the attics of my brain) I have never successfully recommended to anyone. Not one. Every person I've handed it to has given it back without finishing it. One day I will find someone who loves it as much as I do, only they don't know it yet, and I will give ti to them to read and I will own their heart forever. Mwahahahahaha.

Seriously, nothing wrong with being careful. I mean, there are probably stacks of movies that you love and appreciate and enjoy and can recommend freely. And some that you more than love, that make their way into your identity kit, that burrow inside your head and look out through your eyes, that become an inextricable part of who you are. Be careful with the ones you more than love, and only share them with people who understand what it's like to be that attached to something. Even if they don't feel the same affinity that you do, they'll at least know enough not to stomp on it.

[bluejaysfan4eva.livejournal.com]

I tend to get that way about music, and by "that way," I mean that when I find stuff that I really like, I want to spread it virally and have everyone else share in the love. Naturally, I often can't fathom why people don't like some of the things I send out, but having been sending mixes back and forth with Leslie for... Lord, has it been more than four years? That tempers the effect after a while.

[liete.livejournal.com]

I rec things regardless. They're ignored most of the time, and it does make me feel lessened, but I do it anyway. I don't know why. >_>

Now I have to go think about this.

[sarayan.livejournal.com]

I do get really happy when someone likes something I've recommended, and I feel bummed if they don't like it. Sometimes I actually feel nervous about whether or not they'll like the movie/song/whatever, as if their opinion of it is some sort of judgement of me as well. I also know, though, that a lot of the things I like probably won't be well received, because they're a little different. For example, there's no way I could get my sister to even read The Odyssey or enjoy the beauty of Tom Waits.