Faster Four Star! Kill! Kill!
May. 16th, 2008 01:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maypirateThere are times when one might ask oneself, "self, am I an qualifiable asshole?"
If you're not sure how to answer, one might then inquire of oneself, "Do I steal VHS tapes from my locally owned and operated video store, particularly if there is any implication that a woman might be naked for even a second?"
If you answered yes to the second question then motherfucker, you will face my furious vengeance because I am getting so fucking sick of this bastardly thief that's stealing shit from my store. Some of these tapes are expensive and irreplaceable, they're things that haven't had any DVD release at all, and now they're just gone. And then the asshole who's stealing the covers from the hentai. Now we have to put security codes on the covers of everything that has naked women on it (which is like half of the goddamn foreign section) and also keep all VHS that may or may not contain women behind the counter.
Motherfucker.
I don't like hearing the distressed shriek of my boss as we show her something else that's been stolen. It's a scary, harpy-esque sound. I so want to camp out on top of some of the shelves and just watch for this lowlife to come in again. And then I will descend upon him and tear off his head.
Dammit.
And I STILL smell like total madness!
Note to self: bookmark this on personnel computer.
If you're not sure how to answer, one might then inquire of oneself, "Do I steal VHS tapes from my locally owned and operated video store, particularly if there is any implication that a woman might be naked for even a second?"
If you answered yes to the second question then motherfucker, you will face my furious vengeance because I am getting so fucking sick of this bastardly thief that's stealing shit from my store. Some of these tapes are expensive and irreplaceable, they're things that haven't had any DVD release at all, and now they're just gone. And then the asshole who's stealing the covers from the hentai. Now we have to put security codes on the covers of everything that has naked women on it (which is like half of the goddamn foreign section) and also keep all VHS that may or may not contain women behind the counter.
Motherfucker.
I don't like hearing the distressed shriek of my boss as we show her something else that's been stolen. It's a scary, harpy-esque sound. I so want to camp out on top of some of the shelves and just watch for this lowlife to come in again. And then I will descend upon him and tear off his head.
Dammit.
And I STILL smell like total madness!
Note to self: bookmark this on personnel computer.
