maypirate

Two conversations about my job today:

maypirate: Sorry I'm actually really boring today.

caffeaffogato: I am totally rocking out to this embarrassing song
that is what I am currently doing

maypirate: A lot of people haven't returned porn this week.

maypirate: I'm busy tracking them down.

caffeaffogato: oh that sounds pleasant

maypirate: Also I find it amusing that someone rented a porn called "Thirst Quenchers" and also "Life is Beautiful."

maypirate: The contrast is remarkable.

caffeaffogato: I hope you're like "your copy of cum choking boob whores is overdue" over the phone

caffeaffogato: "you filthy bastard"

maypirate: Well not over the phone. I'm sending them letters.

maypirate: "I hope you enjoyed your truly remarkable holocaust film. By the way, could you bring it back along with your filthy, filthy porn? Thanks."

caffeaffogato: good. I hope that's exactly what you're typing

maypirate: Well, it might not say exactly that.

A few minutes later...

maypirate: Mmm violence box.

maypirate: Sorry I was just thinking of the time I simultaneously rented "Last House on the Left," which is about violent sexual assault, and the "Hannah Montana Movie" to this one guy.

maypirate: And I was like ".....euhhhh?"

caffeaffogato: .....that's creepy

caffeaffogato: man if I were a creep I sure as hell would consider what my rental pairings say about me

caffeaffogato: like I probably wouldn't rent "capitol hill ass bandits" with the biography of obama

maypirate: I dunno, I think that could facilitate some pretty exciting presidential fantasies.