"But the football...his crotch..! It works on so many levels!"

[maypirate]

Some of you may remember, from my magical videoland past, a call I once received from a desperate young man.

"You have to help me," he said, "I made a bet with this girl and I have to find ten movies where a guy gets kicked in the crotch or she'll kick ME in the crotch."

Sadly, for this young man, I could not provide much help. It's actually a surprisingly tall order - people get hit in the groin all the time, but this specifically had to be kicked.

Since I received this call, people have asked if I knew what happened, and sadly, I didn't.

THIS MORNING, SEVERAL YEARS LATER, I GOT THE EXACT SAME CALL.

"I have a really out there question," said the guy on the phone, "But can you help me think of 10 movies where a guy gets kicked in the crotch?"

And I was like "I'VE SPOKEN TO YOU BEFORE."

And he assured me he hadn't.

"ARE YOU FOR REAL? IS THIS SERIOUS?"

And he assured me it was, because apparently, this girl is still out there, suckering people into this bet. He even asked me if I knew what happened, and I told him that many people have asked me before, but I didn't know. He said, "no girl would pass that up, right?" and I had to agree that I would not either.

It was deja-vu except it really HAD HAPPENED BEFORE AND HOW...WHAT IN THE...WHO IS THIS GIRL AND WHO ARE THESE GUYS?!

I like to think I did a little better this time, but I feel bad that I didn't compile a list for just this situation after last time. And because it's Tuesday, it was very busy, so I kept having to put him on hold and he finally hung up. And I had another title for him too. Ah, well.

Godspeed you, poor sir. And godspeed YOU, amazing crotch-kicking girl. I hope someday I can meet you and shake your hand.

I feel like I've come full-circle in my video clerking life. I think I can leave in peace now.

Edit: HE CALLED BACK.

HE TOTALLY GOT KICKED.

He said he hung up because she arrived at his house, and he was hoping she would let him out of it, but no. And that it was hard to stand there and take it, and it was awful.

But he thanked me for my help, and appreciated hearing that his situation had so profoundly affected my life. I told him this time I really would make a list, just in case this happens again.

I don't know why this renews my hope in the world, but I'll take it.

Comments

[jactrades]

That is one of the best things I've heard in a long, long while. Just incredibly awesome.

[soda-and-capes.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. I am in awe.

[jazzy-peaches.livejournal.com]

This is one of the most amazing stories I have ever heard. Wow.

[intrastellar.livejournal.com]

Best. Ever.

[infinityduck.livejournal.com]

What I want to know is what he would have gotten if he came up with the 10 movies.

[thistlerose.livejournal.com]

That is ... amazing. I think you just made my day.

[recrudescence.livejournal.com]

What even. This girl sounds awesome.

[reikah.livejournal.com]

*is dying*

*like, for srs*

[ken-ichijouji.livejournal.com]

Feel good family story of the year, A+ would eBay again.

[harukaceles.livejournal.com]

That is amazing.

[monkeybobert.livejournal.com]

Whoa...I enjoyed coming home to get the conclusion of this very special story. It's so weird... I think it is indeed a sign that your job has come full circle and once you compile this list to save any future men from this woman's cruel games then you will be free.

[robley.livejournal.com]

This is amazing.

[lisa-thomas.livejournal.com]

Best. Story. Ever! Thank you!

[decken.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that's a good point! It's like she's Rumpelstiltskin and doesn't expect everyone to win, so I assume the prize is super awesome. Like she can turn shit into gold or something.

[sedesla.livejournal.com]

That's awesome. For the future, I did manage to find 5 definite ball-kicks in movies.

Jackass
X-Men
Old School
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
So I Married An Axe Murderer
Natural Born Killers

[cecilmcgrlybts.livejournal.com]

Did you ask him who this girl is?

[qetuo4756.livejournal.com]

That has to be one of the best stories ever. If you ever have grandchildren, I suggest you tell them this amazing story. Little Darlings, the 1990 movie also has a scene where the guy gets kicked in the crotch, and right at the start, too! :)

[shipwreck-light.livejournal.com]

This story warms both my heart and the balls of others.

Also WAT XD.

[jou.livejournal.com]

Ahhhhh, the serial crotch-kicker of Madison. How I admire her.

[thalialunacy.livejournal.com]

THIS IS AMAZING.