To see with eyes unclouded

[maypirate]

Today is not the best of days, as is par for this week.

This is a whiny and pathetic entry, but I had to get it out before it ate my brain. If you want, go.


Started reading a really interesting book on cultural politics for my class which, it turns out, is not a monograph, and therefore I can't use it. Yay, now I get to read "Embracing Defeat" in one day.

I've just been feeling stupid and pitiful all day, too, and disgusted with myself for it. And I have to remember that I'm the one who does the things that lead to my utter disappointment. I set myself up.

Today it finally hit me just how really bad my GRE scores were, how terrible I am at responding to and giving comments on things people do, how disappointed I am in things that I convey that I wasn't even aware of.

I never know.

A meme for posterity, taken from hime1999
If you read this, even if we do not speak often, comment with one memory of me.
It can be anything you want, good or bad.
Just as long as it happened.
Then post this on your livejournal to see what other people remember about you.

Posting in your own journal is optional, of course.

Comments

[irishgirl982.livejournal.com]

*hugs amber* I'm sorry things aren't going right for you.

As to your Meme, the first thing I thought of was when you were going through your elrecest "crisis". hehe. Please cheer up!!

[monkeybobert.livejournal.com]

I have oh so many lovely memories of you, but let's choose a timely one.

It was Halloween five years ago. We were at Chenya's and it was the first time I really talked to you without being scared of you. And so began a beautiful friendship.

I hope you are feeling better about things and always feel free to talk to me about anything!

[liete.livejournal.com]

I remember making a bad impression on you at Otakon, which I hopefully have made up for. >_>;

[wofl-iron.livejournal.com]

hmmmm....how about THIS

:p

You being emo:



CHEER UP AMBER!! and put some clothes on!!

[reikah.livejournal.com]

Clearest memory of you: your witty comments on that Russel/Fletcher thing you and Tav and Jade and Mikke were doing. :D

'I like the feather. I intend to use it.'

[doommuffin-chan.livejournal.com]

Memory: Birthday Squid!

[western-ink.livejournal.com]

Otakon 2005

At the very back of the fan fic panel room...

Thoughts to self: "Oh! Look, there's Amber in the front row! I'd know that shade of blue jacket anywhere! That's really bright, brighter than the picture showed I think, so vibrant in color. Wow... her hair is really short." ^_^

I also thought of pop-tarts and political comfort movies and the sound of shower water.

[kesenaixtsumi.livejournal.com]

A Goddess. o.o ♥

[yawmin.livejournal.com]

When gravity shifted XD

or maybe when I said I was driving you back to the airport... for the millionth time.

[(Anonymous)]

Sitting in the Noodle House in Oak Ridge, watching you sketch that pic of Gaav about to dump leaves on Pairaka. I love that sketch.

[pairaka.livejournal.com]

That was me, btw.

[homoshiroi.livejournal.com]

:O There are so many! I will name a few.

When we discovered Ladies' Grove and the Golf Course of the Space Ladies. That was a gorgeous day. I remember all our walks.

When you came over with my tea that one time I was distressed (I think your cup is still somewhere in TWH...) and I was very, very touched.

"CHEN-YA, IF WE DON'T LIVE THROUGH THIS, I LOVE YOUUUUU!" and then we were in the future.

Watching so much Xfiles together it seemed unhealthy.

Fuck, I miss you.

[maypirate.livejournal.com]

I miss you so much it hurts.

[silver-miko.livejournal.com]

You flying tackling Theresa into XLR cables. Priceless. So priceless. And how you cutely say 'Oni!!!!!!!'

[taskemus.livejournal.com]

Aw, sorry. :( Good luck with reading that book!

Memory? That first time you talked to me on AIM and I'd just got back from work and was all excited about that, and we discovered we both lived in the same city and I thought you were a crazy stalker for three seconds and all that.

Or maybe the whole Al and dead rats thing. XD But then again, I guess it's not a very good thing that I'm associating you with dead rats.

[kleptoneko.livejournal.com]

I remember that time we came out of 'Guys and Dolls' and there was a cockroach running across in front of us.. and I stomp on it, and you comment on how the way I stomp on it is very "KOKO WA GREENWOOD!!" ;p

And there's another time where we were discussing push-ups in your living room....

And all those times that I brought you Milano cookies on Thursdays >:)

so many memories filled with tears and laughters, but they were all with love! and love still is there!! *hugs*

[asidian.livejournal.com]

Feeling absolutely horrible the first time I ever 'met' you on lj, because you'd been so terribly, terribly nice, and I didn't notice the comment for two days.

Laughing so hard at one of your journal entries that I sprayed tea all over my desk.

That guinea pig in the cup. :D

*hugs* There're too many good thing about you for you to focus so much on the things you aren't happy with... *frown*

[riot-o-curls.livejournal.com]

your enthusiasm in your comments. it makes me want to go squee-omg-u-so-cute and hug you until your back breaks.

then there's tales of your mothering oni. guinea pig love!!

[harukaceles.livejournal.com]

One memory that pops into mind was one time in art class senior year when I was feeling particularly crappy (it was that magical time of the month and this was still back when I died every time that special day came around) and your reaction was to kind of move away from me. I don't remember my reaction to that but I find it funny as hell now.

That and I remember that night on the beach...always....