That time in 'Nam...

So, you know, sometimes I have flashbacks about when I was in the war in 'Nam, and all the crazy shit that went down, and about how sometimes, when you were lying on the ground big old spiders would crawl on you and you couldn't do anything about it because they mighta shot you if you went "OH G-D! ICK!" but this one time, this guy named Black Paris, a spider crawled on him and he went "OH G-D, ICK!" and then all hell broke loose with the shooting and the napalm, damn.

Also there was Charlie. But not like a VietCong Charlie, this was America Charlie, and he was always wearing this American flag bandana and this American flag cape, and man did they shoot him because he was so obvious. Dammit American Charlie.

So also sometimes we made napalm out of styrofoam and gasoline and we made people drink it out of metal mugs, and they were like "hey, this tastes weird" and we were like "shut up and drink your napalm" but I think that was actually after the war. After I got all those metal plates in my head, nose and upper thigh.

Man it was a rough time.




....so this might have been a lot funnier at the time, but....

Oh, and also in 'Nam...

There was this guy named Empire, and he was called Empire because he was tall like the Empire State Building, and he kept getting shot in the head all the time because he was so tall, and sometimes we had to make him sit the hell down and eventually he got shot in the head so many times that we just started to use him as this big decoy puppet thing...that Empire....








...I'm so sorry, I could try to explain how this happened, but...

I really mean no disrespect.



..hee hee hee hee hee....