maypirate

The rundown is this, really.

I have a good life. I have great friends. I get along well with my parents. My boyfriend is faboo. My guinea pig is cute. I'm smart. I got into a good grad school. Many other good things exist in my life.

But GOD DAMMIT when I'm lame enough to FORGET TO TAKE MY NEW MEDICINE ON TOP OF DOUBLE-TIME SIDE EFFECTS, I just...Ugh. GUhguh. SIufhaidhfask. I feel disgusting and I hate the very idea of consuming food.

I have made a list of things that are, currently,

-Getting punched repeatedly in the ovaries by a large person
-Pushing out my right eyeball using only my thumb
-Going off the drop in my backyard on a riding mower
-Rolling around in dust
-Sneezing until I bleed from the ears

Now, just so you don't think I'm totally off the wall, here is a list of things that are, currently,

-Rubbing a wolverine on my face
-Having sex with a chainsaw
-Dying

So I went to Copps and I walked around the entire supermarket (this is a BIG supermarket) until I found some things that I thought I might be able to stand eating, and they turned out to be a can of organic beef broth, Soy Ginger noodles, and a box of Eggo Mini Pancakes.

HELP I'M 23 YEARS OLD AND I WAS BORN WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO FEED MYSELF.

Edit: WHY DOES MY EYE HURT?! WHY MUST IT HURT SO?!?

And my blister ITCHES! Blister is bad enough, ITCHY BLISTER IS FROM SATAN! WHYYYYY?!?!?!