One day, one girl army will overcome

[maypirate]

The rundown is this, really.

I have a good life. I have great friends. I get along well with my parents. My boyfriend is faboo. My guinea pig is cute. I'm smart. I got into a good grad school. Many other good things exist in my life.

But GOD DAMMIT when I'm lame enough to FORGET TO TAKE MY NEW MEDICINE ON TOP OF DOUBLE-TIME SIDE EFFECTS, I just...Ugh. GUhguh. SIufhaidhfask. I feel disgusting and I hate the very idea of consuming food.

I have made a list of things that are, currently,

-Getting punched repeatedly in the ovaries by a large person
-Pushing out my right eyeball using only my thumb
-Going off the drop in my backyard on a riding mower
-Rolling around in dust
-Sneezing until I bleed from the ears

Now, just so you don't think I'm totally off the wall, here is a list of things that are, currently,

-Rubbing a wolverine on my face
-Having sex with a chainsaw
-Dying

So I went to Copps and I walked around the entire supermarket (this is a BIG supermarket) until I found some things that I thought I might be able to stand eating, and they turned out to be a can of organic beef broth, Soy Ginger noodles, and a box of Eggo Mini Pancakes.

HELP I'M 23 YEARS OLD AND I WAS BORN WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO FEED MYSELF.

Edit: WHY DOES MY EYE HURT?! WHY MUST IT HURT SO?!?

And my blister ITCHES! Blister is bad enough, ITCHY BLISTER IS FROM SATAN! WHYYYYY?!?!?!

Comments

[silver-miko.livejournal.com]

My best friend was getting hit on by my smarmy a-hole step cousin when we were at the mall last week and didn't realize it. He wanted to know if she was single, I told him back off.
I get a message on MySpace from him today saying he ran into her and got her number, but lost part of it.
MIND YOU I seriously was really upset at her when we ran into him the first time cause she was like "what he was cute? I could got a free drink tonight" or something.
I told him how he really is and that he was being "nice" cause he wanted to hook up with her. Like I was seriously upset and she was joking about it for the rest of the mall. Let me put it this way, Brandon is less of a dick than my step-cousin.
So I, naturally, after TELLING HER THIS, would think she'd respect that and understand I am being a good friend and heed by my advice.
But no.
Right now I too would prefer-
-Rubbing a wolverine on my face
-having sex with a chainsaw
-dying

Than having to deal with this.

Also, as for food. It's nigh impossible for soup to hurt you. But then you may actually prove me wrong on that. I hope not. Soup's usually a safety food.

[maypirate.livejournal.com]

My friend scared me with a tale about soup recently. I'm now afraid to get soup from those pots at stores and stuff. ;_;

[silver-miko.livejournal.com]

Oh well yea THAT soup maybe.

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

What if it were a friendly, tame wolverine?

[maypirate.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I've heard they're the second stinkiest animals in the world. I don't think it would smell like roses.

[timbean.livejournal.com]

do tell?

what's the first? :o

[maypirate.livejournal.com]

Tasmanian Devils! Apparently they are an insult to smell.

[timbean.livejournal.com]

/nick wolverine

/me chews ♥