This far no further
Jul. 31st, 2006 03:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maypirateThis is the last stop. And I am out in the open too, because god knows I love a big explosion.
Point by point:
-I did not tell you to "stay away." I said "let's spend some time apart." I was depressed -depressed, not angry- to see you talked about meeting Kei because I thought "Huh, I thought she didn't want to see anyone." Yes, it was immature of me to say "boo, she locked that away." But I never said you were awful for it.
-You were the one who decided that you couldn't do anything right.
-And that's what I said the other day, that this keeps happening, and it doesn't get any better. Why you even try? Why do I? I have been trying to keep you and us afloat even while we're sinking so fast that we're practically already on the bottom of the ocean.
-I never, ever, ever said you were attacking me. I was disappointed.
-And this is where it all comes apart, because my heart cannot take this, I can't take the suspicion and the misinterpretations and the lack of trust, I can't take lying awake trying to sort this all out, I can't take being talked over and I can't take the allegations that I'm always doing something wrong or accusing you of evil or making you the villain, or not trying.
-And you know what hurts the most? I still care about you terribly.
-But neither of us can deal with each other right now. Maybe we will again someday, who knows?
-I have had Beanie remove us from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
marry_a_ljuser. Feel free to delete all my fics off ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thegrandline, although -and I know this is mean, this is me being really, really mean, just this once- I *was* the one who paid for it and I thought about changing the password and keeping it all for myself. But maybe that was just my own vanity, which I undoubtedly have, since you've always perceived me as being so far above you that you could never see me for what I really am and really was. Your friend, at your level.
-But if I'm the villain now? Fine. I'm the villain. And I happily accept it.
Take care of yourself, and I mean that. I always did.
Point by point:
-I did not tell you to "stay away." I said "let's spend some time apart." I was depressed -depressed, not angry- to see you talked about meeting Kei because I thought "Huh, I thought she didn't want to see anyone." Yes, it was immature of me to say "boo, she locked that away." But I never said you were awful for it.
-You were the one who decided that you couldn't do anything right.
-And that's what I said the other day, that this keeps happening, and it doesn't get any better. Why you even try? Why do I? I have been trying to keep you and us afloat even while we're sinking so fast that we're practically already on the bottom of the ocean.
-I never, ever, ever said you were attacking me. I was disappointed.
-And this is where it all comes apart, because my heart cannot take this, I can't take the suspicion and the misinterpretations and the lack of trust, I can't take lying awake trying to sort this all out, I can't take being talked over and I can't take the allegations that I'm always doing something wrong or accusing you of evil or making you the villain, or not trying.
-And you know what hurts the most? I still care about you terribly.
-But neither of us can deal with each other right now. Maybe we will again someday, who knows?
-I have had Beanie remove us from
marry_a_ljuser. Feel free to delete all my fics off thegrandline, although -and I know this is mean, this is me being really, really mean, just this once- I *was* the one who paid for it and I thought about changing the password and keeping it all for myself. But maybe that was just my own vanity, which I undoubtedly have, since you've always perceived me as being so far above you that you could never see me for what I really am and really was. Your friend, at your level.-But if I'm the villain now? Fine. I'm the villain. And I happily accept it.
Take care of yourself, and I mean that. I always did.
