This far no further

[maypirate]

This is the last stop. And I am out in the open too, because god knows I love a big explosion.

Point by point:

-I did not tell you to "stay away." I said "let's spend some time apart." I was depressed -depressed, not angry- to see you talked about meeting Kei because I thought "Huh, I thought she didn't want to see anyone." Yes, it was immature of me to say "boo, she locked that away." But I never said you were awful for it.

-You were the one who decided that you couldn't do anything right.

-And that's what I said the other day, that this keeps happening, and it doesn't get any better. Why you even try? Why do I? I have been trying to keep you and us afloat even while we're sinking so fast that we're practically already on the bottom of the ocean.

-I never, ever, ever said you were attacking me. I was disappointed.

-And this is where it all comes apart, because my heart cannot take this, I can't take the suspicion and the misinterpretations and the lack of trust, I can't take lying awake trying to sort this all out, I can't take being talked over and I can't take the allegations that I'm always doing something wrong or accusing you of evil or making you the villain, or not trying.

-And you know what hurts the most? I still care about you terribly.

-But neither of us can deal with each other right now. Maybe we will again someday, who knows?

-I have had Beanie remove us from marry_a_ljuser. Feel free to delete all my fics off thegrandline, although -and I know this is mean, this is me being really, really mean, just this once- I *was* the one who paid for it and I thought about changing the password and keeping it all for myself. But maybe that was just my own vanity, which I undoubtedly have, since you've always perceived me as being so far above you that you could never see me for what I really am and really was. Your friend, at your level.

-But if I'm the villain now? Fine. I'm the villain. And I happily accept it.

Take care of yourself, and I mean that. I always did.

Comments

[wofl-iron.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Maybe someday you will be at points in your lives when you two can get along again. I hope things work out for the better for both of you. ♥

[silver-miko.livejournal.com]

:hugs: I think some Elricest Stickfigure Theatre is in order for me to drawn on the ETERNAL VAN RIDE FROM CT TO MD.

[herongale]

*cuddles*

I'm gonna be around this evening after 8pm. (before then, it's avoidance of the hot computer for me). But I know how hard all of this is for you and I just want to say... *hugshugshugs* (although that is technically an action and not a statement). Be well.

[maxxim-huzzah.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say, except that I hope you two can work things out. Take care.