maypirate

Two other adventures of today:

-Driving Diane's car to the grocery store, because her car has no rearview mirror, and it was incredibly damp all day today so all the windows were fogged up and I couldn't see out of them and I had to have the windshield wipers on and her car smelled like industrial cleaning solution and gasoline.

-I was looking at apples, and one of them had a weird line on it, and I thought "this looks like it had some kind of apple accident." And then I thought "...where have I heard that phrase before...." GO-GURT BIRTH CONTROL OH MY GOD I HATE YOU TONY AND I MISS YOU PISCAPO'S ARM!

And this is just too awesome to cut, because ladies and gentlemen,

nymeria's mother:

Amber says:
Also, if she throws up in my car, I'm going to have to kill her.
Amber says:
I'm sorry.
Amber says:
It's just how it is.
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
how long a drive
Amber says:
2 hours from Chicago.
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
she can manage 2 hours, with the use of an mp3 player
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
but much more and its puke city
Amber says:
Oh Christ.
Amber says:
Can I just drug her and toss her in the trunk?
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
It's boot when you talk to english people sweetie *smiles evily*
Amber says:
Right, the boot.
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
Trunks are those long things on the front of Elephants
Amber says:
So when I take her to the "carpark"...
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
drugging her doesnt really work, have tried that
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
she just gets sleepy and pukes
Amber says:
With tranquilizer darts?
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
perhaps not
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
I am her mother, she is my firstborn and most special baby, I drew the line at tranquilizer darts
Amber says:
Good point.
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
so give it a go
瘋狂倫敦烈女(London Party Girl) says:
you may be lucky^^

Wow! Most of my friends' moms don't give me permission to shoot their kids full of dope! HOT DAMN!

Edit: GET LUCKY AS IN DRUG HER SUFFICIENTLY,

timbean, NOT SLEEP WITH HER! HER MOM AND I DID NOT GET TO THE PART ABOUT ROOFIES YET!