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maypirateThe other day I wrote two really long entries and LJ deleted both of them before I was done so I got kinda frustrated and decided not to bother.
It was about missing you.
She said, jealousy's always been a problem with me, and it's no different now. Now when you're where I want to be, and I can't be there, making friends so much more easily than I ever did, because I shut down.
I shut down back then, and I was paralyzed by missing you.
It took me weeks to get used to other people's rooms, uncomfortable, pushing at their hands when they tried to get close because none of them were you, and I missed you, but they didn't give up and I'm so grateful...but...jealous...
And that can't happen again now.
It's hard to miss places and mistakes.
But I'm glad that you're taking care of yourself while I can't. Kiotsukete kudasai.
It was about missing you.
She said, jealousy's always been a problem with me, and it's no different now. Now when you're where I want to be, and I can't be there, making friends so much more easily than I ever did, because I shut down.
I shut down back then, and I was paralyzed by missing you.
It took me weeks to get used to other people's rooms, uncomfortable, pushing at their hands when they tried to get close because none of them were you, and I missed you, but they didn't give up and I'm so grateful...but...jealous...
And that can't happen again now.
It's hard to miss places and mistakes.
But I'm glad that you're taking care of yourself while I can't. Kiotsukete kudasai.
