And I struggle with the terror of all that I could lose

[maypirate]

I'm worried about Oni.

Wow, you say, that's a real shocker.

No but seriously.

She's being funny about eating and it seems like she's having intestinal difficulties somewhat like her mother once had and she's making weird clicky sounds with her teeth. But I took her to the vet on Tuesday and they said her teeth were fine, and she didn't feel gassy or bloaty. She's yelling at me every morning like normal and purrs a lot when I pet her.

I dunno. I worry she doesn't like Castle Bloodskull and is lonely during the day. Or depressed.

And yes I know some of this is paranoia. My dad pointed out a while back that right now Oni is my main source of comfort, and so I worry a lot about her health and safety. I have a lot of bad dreams where she's in danger. I think about her dying someday and can hardly bear it. I feel like it's getting to the point where I may need to find another new therapist (since the last one sucked) just so I can talk to someone about how I'm starting to spend my days at work worrying about her and wondering if she's unhappy until my heart hurts.

I know she's just a little animal, but I love her so much. I want to be able to enjoy her company and not be afraid all the time. This is like so many other things in my life, but she's my baby and being with her and thinking about her should make me happy, not worried.

I just. Needed to get that out.

A picture as a reward for reading my woes:

Comments

[harukaceles.livejournal.com]

Unbelievable cuteness!

Do they make guinea pig toys? I would assume that, if they do, you have many of those so she would be able to amuse herself during the day.

I know I used to worry about those things, especially moreso with my cat. I realize now that she probably spent the entire day sleeping when I'd be gone. But she was always so happy to see me when I came back that she was my comfort at that time.

Call me and we will do happy things.

[soda-and-capes.livejournal.com]

♥
♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥

[innate.livejournal.com]

I'm like that about my cat Luna, especially when I'm away for long periods of time like right now. Sometimes when I think about her being sad or uncomfortable, I go nuts. And don't even get me started on the prospect of her dying one day, because I seriously don't know if I'll ever recover from that.

But it IS important to ENJOY the time you spend with her, and to focus on the love rather than the fear. I remember guinea pigs I used to have, Sassy and Shadow, and they were such a joy. Sometimes my heart still hurts thinking about them, but I feel so blessed to have known them.

If this is becoming a serious anxiety thing, and even trying to reprioritize your thoughts isn't helping, maybe you should look into a therapist, because there might be other underlying problems bringing about these reactions. It's good to get help sometimes, and nothing to be ashamed of.

[kleptoneko.livejournal.com]

this is for you!!