Affliction

[maypirate]

Spent the day writing and doodling and talking in my new chair in the basement, generally feeling fine when I realized I was waiting to feel not fine, or bad, or something. Literally expecting it to happen, not being willing to trust that I could have a day where I felt physically good for no apparent reason.

I'm getting really tired of this horrible obsession.

What I would like so much, so very much, is to go one day where I'm not afraid that my stomach is going to start hurting when I let my guard down, where I'm not afraid I'll get sick, where I don't have to look at food and be scared.

And sometimes facing your fears is the way to deal with them, and maybe that means I should just learn to eat like a human, but I'd rather just do what I did so long ago, wake up, and not be scared all the time anymore.



Je souhaite.

Comments

[asidian.livejournal.com]

*HUGS you* You really should try eating regularly, you know. If your stomach's bad, anyway, what's the worst it could do? *worryworry*

[kesenaixtsumi.livejournal.com]

;___; *huggles.* ♥