The lesson here is never try

I told my friend Peter from work that I'd give him a ride to the airport this morning at 5 because I don't work today and people have driven me to the airport at stupid times and I could help out.

I was up until 4, and then stupidly decided to lie down. I had three alarms set on my phone, the one beside my, and my mother who was getting up at five.

All failed to wake me up. Especially because I brilliantly left my cell phone in the car and then I finally woke up TWO HOURS LATE and drove like a crazy person and luckily by then Peter had already called a cab and when I finally reached him was already at the airport heading for the gate, but...I feel absolutely terrible. If he'd missed his plane, it would have been all my fault. As it was, he was counting on me and I blew it and I just want to live in a hole. And it's only 7 am. I don't want to think what that might mean for the rest of the day.

I had a nice weekend. If I ever come out from hiding perhaps I will talk about that.

And I have loved you like a hurricane

Don and I broke up.

And it'll be okay because it's not full of rage or darkness or anger. He's washing dishes and I'm using his computer and I have, for once, no regrets. The world is still turning.

Sometimes people just grow up together and grow apart.

I'm sad, and I'm not going to pretend I'm not. It seems like there's been so much in the past year that I've been sad about, and felt like I didn't deserve to be sad, or shouldn't be allowed. But maybe it's okay to allow myself to feel it. I don't know. It is what it is, and we are what we are.

And now I don't have to be afraid of it anymore.

But please understand that this time, for now, I don't want to talk about it.