Please don't touch my huge dick
Nov. 19th, 2007 08:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maypirateI have returned from Maryland, but this time tomorrow I will be on my way home to Wisconsin (SASSIEST STATE IN THE UNION BITCHIZZZZ). Sure, these things warrant talking about, but we're here to discuss something else.
For whatever reason, my W&M account gets massive amounts of spam, most of it advertising for "MegaDik." While this is insanely obnoxious, some of the subject lines and content of these messages are truly incredible.
Make your nights of love more passionate and long!
Make them..."more long?" Oh grammar! Who needs you? This message was sent to me from "Nosgnohe."
Beat her womb with your new big rod, so that she knew who wears the pants!
......O.O Do not want. Do not ever, ever want.
May i ask why you're so unhappy with your dic'k?
Er, well I'm a girl, and I identify as a girl, so it's a bit unsightly, you know?
Add some more male meat to your package!
Perhaps a HAM DILDO?!?!
She will certainly appreciate your new dic'k at its true value!
My wang has great growth potential.
Your baby-maker needs to be bigger in order to perform its functions well
Nghgghhghghhhh...*shuddering*
Obtain a male package that all your buds would envy!
Be the first one on your block! Shipping and handling not included, please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.
You'll never be unhappy in bed anymore!
You'll be miserable instead.
Overstep the bounds of the impossible - enlarge your phallus!
To infinity, and beyond!
But dude, this is quality. I don't even know what to make of the fact that now they're trying to sell enhancement drugs through clever limmericks.
Now that you've got a babe that's hot
You wanna nail her dripping twat.
She's so attractive, she's so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will yearn for more?
You need a dic'k she would adore!
But how to make it long and thick?
Your only hope is MegaDik!
You'll get so wanted super-size
And see wild craving in her eyes!
Your rod will stuff her poon so deep,
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!
So try today this wonder-pi'll
And change your life at your own will!
There's really nothing I can say about that. I mean...it really just is what it is. It's...it's...yeah.
But this is my absolute favorite (and if you've known me long enough, or if your name is "Tony" or "Sarah" or "Jes," you'll know what to do):
The guys get jealous now when they see me in the bathroom
Say it with me! "NOW THEY JUST STARE; AND VOMIT ALL OVER MY HUUUUUUUUUUUGE DICK."
And just so everyone knows, apparently my name has changed:
To: "Thad U. Maddox" acohe@wm.edu
It's very manly and tough. Now I understand those manly urges where I just want to kill something, fix things, cook outdoors...
And scene.
For whatever reason, my W&M account gets massive amounts of spam, most of it advertising for "MegaDik." While this is insanely obnoxious, some of the subject lines and content of these messages are truly incredible.
Make your nights of love more passionate and long!
Make them..."more long?" Oh grammar! Who needs you? This message was sent to me from "Nosgnohe."
Beat her womb with your new big rod, so that she knew who wears the pants!
......O.O Do not want. Do not ever, ever want.
May i ask why you're so unhappy with your dic'k?
Er, well I'm a girl, and I identify as a girl, so it's a bit unsightly, you know?
Add some more male meat to your package!
Perhaps a HAM DILDO?!?!
She will certainly appreciate your new dic'k at its true value!
My wang has great growth potential.
Your baby-maker needs to be bigger in order to perform its functions well
Nghgghhghghhhh...*shuddering*
Obtain a male package that all your buds would envy!
Be the first one on your block! Shipping and handling not included, please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.
You'll never be unhappy in bed anymore!
You'll be miserable instead.
Overstep the bounds of the impossible - enlarge your phallus!
To infinity, and beyond!
But dude, this is quality. I don't even know what to make of the fact that now they're trying to sell enhancement drugs through clever limmericks.
Now that you've got a babe that's hot
You wanna nail her dripping twat.
She's so attractive, she's so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will yearn for more?
You need a dic'k she would adore!
But how to make it long and thick?
Your only hope is MegaDik!
You'll get so wanted super-size
And see wild craving in her eyes!
Your rod will stuff her poon so deep,
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!
So try today this wonder-pi'll
And change your life at your own will!
There's really nothing I can say about that. I mean...it really just is what it is. It's...it's...yeah.
But this is my absolute favorite (and if you've known me long enough, or if your name is "Tony" or "Sarah" or "Jes," you'll know what to do):
The guys get jealous now when they see me in the bathroom
Say it with me! "NOW THEY JUST STARE; AND VOMIT ALL OVER MY HUUUUUUUUUUUGE DICK."
And just so everyone knows, apparently my name has changed:
To: "Thad U. Maddox" acohe@wm.edu
It's very manly and tough. Now I understand those manly urges where I just want to kill something, fix things, cook outdoors...
And scene.
