maypirate

Last night I was talking to

sink_or_swim about old times and I remembered I fight that I had with people on

churchofelric four years ago.

And I realized...I'm not even sure what I realized. I guess I realized I'm sorry for what I said, how I said it, and how I failed to be articulate and rational. I'm sorry for upsetting people. To be honest, I barely remembered what I'd done, but once reminded I just sort of feel stupid and impossibly young. In the course of that fight I was told to "grow the fuck up," which was hard because I thought I was mature when I was 24, when I was alone and on my own in grad school. I was wrong.

I just wanted to say to anyone who still remembers that, or thinks about it bitterly, that I'm sorry. I was in a dark place and I'm only realizing now how dark it was, and how poorly I acted when I was there. I've been trying to grow the fuck up for a long time now, and I realize that I have a long way to go, and it's going to be many years before I come anywhere close.

But I'm trying, and I'm learning from my mistakes. It's a process.

We have come to terms.